I Offer My Leadership; Or, On the Campaign Trail . . .

Alert-Dominant

Hotel Hound

Like a lot of other always-on-the-go spirits, I can make myself comfortable anywhere. Hallie

A Prophecy

I dreamt again . . .

. . . and in this dream, I beheld a prophecy. It was written in mystical symbols, stamped on a sheaf of metal (see below). I'm still trying to decipher its hidden meaning . . . Hallie

I Had a Dream

I had a dream . . . Sometime after I passed out on my monkey-person's bed (following a massive poop), I dreamt I was walking on a desert plain. The sun was white-hot. There was an overturned armored personnel carrier. There was also a giant seashell and an old watermelon perched, precariously, on a rock. And I remember thinking to myself, as the black sand oozed beneath my paws, "Before this year is through, I'm gonna make that Cesar Milan my bitch!" Hallie

Waiting for Bear Grylls

Look: I get hot, man. Very hot. And easily, too. I have two coats of fur. So when my monkey-person took me to the beach recently, I commissioned him to build me a temporary den, with plenty of shade, with whatever local materials he deemed appropriate. As you can see for yourself (above), the results fell far short of Bear Grylls' high standard of excellence. How humiliating for a hound! So, if you are reading this Bear, I'm ready to offer you my loyalty and my leadership. Hallie

A Rogue's Gallery of "Miss Hallie" Impersonators

If you happen to see any of the following faces, do NOT disgorge meat or vigorously scratch their booties. Instead, spurn them and report their whereabouts to me immediately. I will deal with them harshly! Hallie