Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Xmas "Shit List" Advisory

If you want to have a merry Christmas this year, well then TAKE CARE OF MY NEEDS! I do have a list. I am checking it twice. I'm also sharpening my teeth on a couple of old bones I keep around the floor here and there . . .


Monday, December 21, 2009

Friday, December 18, 2009

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Je déteste Bruce Arians

In the monkey-people game in which the apes run around fighting for an oblong piece of meat, this Pack Sub-Leader (Beta) does not understand that the best strategy for asserting dominance is to keep it for as long as you can, clinched firmly between your snarling teeth. Since he appears to be well-fed, perhaps this gorilla-boy has forgotten how to fight for his share of the caribou . . .


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Monday, December 7, 2009

Monday, November 30, 2009

'Twas a Happy Thanksreceiving

Many thanks to all of you monkey-people who contributed to my well-deserved feast last week. So sleep well tonight. I don't have to murder any of you for failing to pay up!


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Help! Theft!!

It's obvious for anyone to see that this ape-bitch has stolen not only my message but my likeness as well. Hey, if she wants "fierce," then that is exactly what she's going to get! I mean, check out these teeth . . .

It is ON Susan Scott.


Friday, November 20, 2009

The Holidays Mean Meat!

'Tis the season, as they say. So I thought I would publish my wish list:
A baked ham.
A baked turkey.
Roast duckling.
Roast pheasant.
Wild boar (any style).
Lapland reindeer chunks in gravy.
Beef boxty.
Deer liver.
A leg of lamb.
Bison burgers.
Cat (tartare).

Koala bear.

Thanks in advance for your prompt attention to this matter!


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Alley Hound

Hey man, you'd be surprised what food items find their way into the narrowest of alleys.


Friday, November 13, 2009

This is November?

Where the hell is my rain and snow? How am I supposed to track and kill anything under these conditions?? Unbelievable!!!


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Oh Cleo!!!

Nice to get a recent head shot from you, my B(Beta)FF. Leaving aside the regrettably submissive nature of your pose, I would happily sacrifice a meal or two to look that good when I'm 91 years old! And oh how the autumn colors become you.

Say hi to your monkey-person "Frank" for me,


Monday, October 26, 2009

Fashion Statement

I've always thought my attractive blue collar was sufficient adornment for me. However this fall season, I have come to embrace a new look: my green bandanna. Sure, my first reaction was to reject the wearing of it with a snarl and a vicious display of my sharp teeth. But after a few days, I don't know - a change came over me. I noticed how the green formed a striking complement to my fiery, golden red fur. How the plunging line of the cloth calls attention to my powerful breast. And, perhaps most of all, how the leafy pattern of the bandanna helps camouflage my appearance while hunting in the woods, or the cat-infested alleys of my neighborhood.

So: I'm sold on my new adornment. You should be too!


Monday, October 19, 2009

Walk Report

Looking for deer, scratching my ear, then sitting down for a few, quiet minutes of transcendental meditation (i.e., listening for deer) ... all in all, a pretty ok walk in the woods. However, because I never did murder any deer, or even a single squirrel, the best grade I can give it is a B+. I cannot compromise my high standards.


Monday, October 5, 2009

Swimming with Gus-Gus

Nota bene: Even in the water (not my best element), your Pack Leader still leads the way!


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Not This Red Dog!

I despise my monkey-person's bizarre and humiliating attempts to "groom" me. And yet, why do I find this veritable torture chamber so fascinating???


Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Compulsion to Retrieve

Look: I have the soul of a Chow Chow - plus the attitude and the spotted tongue to prove it. I like to swim just about as much as my homey "Lion" does:

However, I am also part Golden Retriever. I regard this stream of my genetic inheritance in much the same way as Spock regards his partial 'humanity.' And this part of me sometimes over-rides my good Chow Chow common sense and compels me to leap into lakes after sticks. So here I am, wrestling with my true nature, retrieving a stick from the waters.



Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I Like a Stage

Relative elevation is important to a she-wolf like myself: status in the pack is as much a physical location in space as it is a state of mind. That's why I love elevated stages, wherever I go. As an Alpha, center stage is where I naturally belong.

So Look Out! I may be coming to a stage near you . . .


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009

Expressing Myself

Sometimes a girl's anal glands get a little over-active. So when I start feeling uncomfortably "full" back there, I like to express my own "scent" glands by dragging my bootie across the infield of a nearby baseball diamond. The tightly-packed, sandy dirt is the perfect hard place for generating immediate relief.


Friday, July 31, 2009

I Simply Remember My Favorite Things

With all of the rain we've been having, I've had to try various things to stave off the blues. I'm made for the snow, man! I've got a butt made for sitting on glaciers all day - not walking around in monsoons! So I've been thinking a lot about other times and other places. I've especially been thinking about old road trips (awesome!) and the strange, new worlds I've marked as my own (see the rest area just east of Dickens, TX above). If only I could mark the entire world [sigh] . . .