I Was Leonid Brezhnev

Recently, while participating in a past life regression therapy retreat, it was revealed to me that, in my most recent past life, I was a monkey-person - a great ape, really - named "Leonid Brezhnev." This has illuminated quite a few things about my personality. For sure, there are the obvious similarities: my lust to dominate, the pleasure I take in hearty meals, and also, in long naps.

We both have, or had, bushy eyebrows.

The surprises? My taste for pickled herring, blini, and twelve-dish Christmas Eve suppers (the last one is surprising because I am a practicing Animist). Most of all, now I know why I've always felt this strange yearning to restore the Warsaw Pack, sorry, I mean Pact. That one was really driving me crazy! ,

Comrade Hallie