It has recently come to my attention that a simian, who shall remain nameless, declared that I could not have been a "deliberate combination." Why, you may ask? Because my breed, the North Georgia Mini-Retriever, is a combination of the Golden Retriever and the Chow Chow: personalities that this monkey-woman declared to be "mutually antagonistic." Naturally, I took umbrage at these remarks. For one fleeting moment, I even had murder on my mind . . .But now that I've had a chance to sleep on it (approx. 14 hours worth), mostly what I feel is pity. I feel pity for the ape-mind that fails to conceive the dialectical possibilities of a soul such as mine -- one that is capable of bringing back a stick one moment, then completely turning its back on humanity the next; or the way I greet you in a friendly way, then, in the blink of an eye, lunge at your throat. A lesser being would see these as contradictions. I, on the other hand, view these improbable 'combinations' as my greatest work of art!
Hallie
1 comment:
Okay Hallie, I need to set the record straight. What you heard was hearsay, which any attorney worth their law degree would tell you is inadmissible in a court of law. I may have used the phrase "not a deliberate combination" (and let's face it, the Chow Chow/Golden Retriever mix isn't high on professional dog breeders' lists) but I never meant to imply that the combination was *negative* - simply accidental.
Also, upon further perusal of your blog I stumbled upon an entry entitled "The War Within," in which you clearly identify the 'mutually antagonistic' components of your personality. The obvious conclusion therefore is that I wasn't wrong, and instead of taking offense you should be incredibly proud of your unique attributes.
It's important to me, Hallie, that you know I'm an admirer; we have an incredible amount in common. I work in a man's world, so I know firsthand how effective it can be to conceal a strong set of jaws with some feminine wile and physical charm. Therefore it has to be said: You go girl! And let me know if you need good representation in your domestic disputes.
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